He jumped on me like a duck on a June bug.He jumped on me like white on rice.He can blow out the lamp and jump into bed before it gets dark.He gets there in one-half less than no time.Quick out of the chute.Fast as greased lightning.Fast as small-town gossip.Faster than a prairie fire with a tail wind.Faster than a scalded cat.Faster than double-struck lightning.Faster than a sneeze through a screen door.Going like a house afire.Hell-bent for leather.Any faster and hed catch up to yesterday.In a New York minute. Look what the cat dragged in.Companys coming; add a cup of water to the soup.Weve howdied but we havent shook.Put on your sitting britches.Lets chaw the rag. Texas is a cult. Lindsay Mcelwee, I Like The Image Texas Brings To Mindthat Of Bigness, Of Strength, Of Goodness. Ninfa Laurenzo, The enemy never sees the backs of my Texans! General Robert E. Lee, CSA, Texas history is a varied, tempestuous, and vast as the state itself. Im madder than a wet hen! - By Jim Bishop. For all the smiles you put on my face and the people around. Hes overdrawn at the memory bank. I'm so thankful you're in my life, and I hope you have a very special birthday! Matthew McConaughey and his wife, Camila Alves, stepped out at his annual Mack, Jack & McConaughey Gala alongside their son Levi. 10 Texas Slang Words To Sound Like A Local | EnjoyTravel.com you got a problem. This aint my first rodeo. Dream big and make them true, so that one-day people get inspired by your sheer guts. Here are 30 famous birthday quotes for your friends and loved ones: Live long and prosper. - Jim Gaffigan. Next 1 - 75 of 18,884 images . Did you hear me? If you use one on a website, please link to this post. We hope you liked our quotes on Texas. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. As welcome as an egg-sucking dog.As welcome as an outhouse breeze.As welcome as screwworm.As welcome as a porcupine at a nudist colony.As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party.As welcome as a wet shoe.As welcome as a tornado on a trail drive. Don't mess with Texas. (For people without US cell phone plans). I wish everyone the world over had the dominating spirit that motivates Texans. Billy Clayton. Oct 2, 2014 - Explore rosa hernandez's board "Texas birthday greetings" on Pinterest. His breaths so strong you could hang out the washing on it.That coffees so strong itll put hair on your chest.Coffee so strong itll walk into your cup.Coffee so strong itll raise a blood blister on a boot.Hes so strong he makes Samson look sensitive. - Unknown. No hill for a stepper.Slick as a whistle.Easy as pie. You know exactly what you're doing. May your birthday be as beautiful as your soul is lovely. Hot as Hades.Hot as the hinges (or hubs) of hell.Hot as a depot stove.Hot as a two-dollar pistol.Hot as a billy goat in a pepper patch.Hot as a summer revival.Hot as a pot of neck bones.Hot as a stolen tamale.Hot enough to fry eggs on the sidewalk.Hotter than whoopee in woolens.Hotter than a honeymoon hotel.Hotter than a burning stump.Hotter than blue blazes.Hotter than a fur coat in Marfa.So hot the hens are laying hard-boiled eggs. "When I was young, the Dead Sea was still alive.". 100 Getting Older Birthday Quotes for Yourself and Loved Ones Even if theyre not American, people know about Texas. Hes so busy youd think he was twins.Theyre doing a land-office business.Busy as a one-legged man at an ass-kicking convention.Busy as a funeral home fan in July.Busy as a one-eyed dog in a smokehouse.Busy as a one-armed paperhanger.Busy as a stump-tailed bull in fly season.Busy as a hound in flea season.Got to slop the hogs, dig the well, and plow the south forty before breakfast.Got to get back to my rat killing.Shes jumping like hot grease (or water) on a skillet.Panting like a lizard on a hot rock.No grass growing under her feet. 70 sounds old, but when I look at you, I still see a lot of youth in you. 100+ Humorous Funny Birthday Wishes & Quotes Showing search results for "Texas Birthday" sorted by relevance. 15 More Hilarious Texas Memes to Keep You Laughing - Wide Open Country Todays Texas is exhilarating, exasperating, violent, charming, horrible, delightful, alive. Edna Ferber, There is a growing feeling that perhaps Texas is really another country, a place where the skies, the disasters, the diamonds, the politicians, the women, the fortunes, the football players are all bigger than anywhere else. Pete Hamill, Read next: Incredible Weekend Getaways in Texas, There is a special mystique to Texas. Perfect 50th Birthday Quotes for 2023 | Routinely Nomadic Texas | Arknights Wiki - GamePress Leave them blank to get signed up. So I got a cake." - Mitch Hedberg, comedian Texans dont bury their failures. Texans represent many things to the uninitiated: We are bigger than life in our boots and Stetsons, rugged individualists whose two-steppin has achieved world-wide acclaim, and we were the first to define hospitality. Ann Richards. Just a small serving. Kathleen Kent, Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. If hes not, why embarrass him by asking? John Gunther. This digitized version has since been updated to remove offensive lines. My heart felt wishes and blessings are coming your way on the wonderful occasion of your birthday. Hes so country he thinks a seven-course meal is a possum and a six-pack. Birthdays are a time to celebrate, reflect on the year, and make future wishes for the year to come. Put candles in a pie, and somebody's drunk in the kitchen." - Jim Gaffigan, comedian "I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. Hope your birthday cake is as sweet as you! Youll also want to use these fabulous Texas puns! Famous People From Texas & Celebs Born In Texas. 6. Tight as Dicks hatband.Tight as a tick.Tight as a clothesline.Tight as a fiddle string.Tight as wallpaper.Tight as a wet boot.Tight enough to raise a blister.So tight he squeaks when he walks.Hell squeeze a nickel till the buffalo screams.She has short arms and deep pockets. Hes been saucered and blowed.He sure cleaned your plow. Illustration by Gary Locke Dry So dry the birds are. our birthday is October 26, 1886.) Don't die a copy." John Mason "You are. Above all, Texas is a nation in every sense of the word. When: March 4-5. I love the fact that Texas is so big, but you dont feel small because of that. You cant share Texas quotes without sharing Texans quotes, right? Howdy Folks, this is Big Tex! | State Fair of Texas Rich, poor, Panhandle, Gulf, city, country, Texas is the obsession, the proper study, and the passionate possession of all Texans. John Steinbeck, Theres a freedom you begin to feel the closer you get to Austin, Texas. Willie Nelson, During the cold war, West Berlin was an exclave a tiny outpost of liberalism surrounded by people who wanted to crush it. He could fall up a tree.Couldnt ride a nightmare without falling out of bed.He couldnt knock a hole in the wind with a sackful of hammers.So bad at farming he couldnt raise Cain.He couldnt hit the floor if he fell out of bed.Handy as hip pockets on a hog.Worthless as teats on a bull.Worthless as a sidesaddle on a sow.Not worth spit.He couldnt organize a pissing contest in a brewery.Useless as two buggies in a one-horse town.He could screw up a two-car funeral.Tie a quarter to it and throw it away, and you can say you lost something.Hes got no more chance than a June bug in the chicken coop.Hes a day late and a dollar short.He cant win for losing.Hes sucking hind teat.I need that like a tomcat needs a trousseau.Shes itching for something she wont scratch for.Why close the barn door after the horses are out?No more good than an eyeless needle.Like warming up leftover snow.Like pushing a wheelbarrow with rope handles.Like sweet-talking the water out of the well. If you get sick, injured, or have your stuff stolen, youll be happy to have the ability to pay for your medical bills or replace whats stolen or broken. Texas literally has a pledge they say every morning. They hung the wrong horse thief. Yay, you're here! -Travels with Charley, If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell. Most Texans know about the references to the Lone Star State size in Texas quotes and sayings. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." Check out these belated birthday wishes if you're looking to make it up to your friend whose. Hotter than a honeymoon hotel yeah, its hot! If you are too, check out this massive guide to250 Inspirational Travel Quotes & Travel Instagram Captions, plus: TheLonely Planet Texasguidebook. A smart ass just don't fit in a saddle. We asked twelve renowned artists to illustrate their favorite Texas sayings, and we present as well a sample of other axioms and adages common to the statea collection of sayings as big as all hell and half of Texas. Shes itching for something she wont scratch for. for dreaming for something too big! He's yellow as mustard but without the bite. The Lone Star State is full of character, and so are these Texas quotes. Happy birthday! "I think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world." - Tommy Tune. Texans represent many things to the uninitiated: We are bigger than life in our boots and Stetsons, rugged individualists whose two-steppin has achieved worldwide acclaim, and we were the first to define hospitality. Ann Richards, One day, it just dawned on me that Im from Texas, and thats what I am. Sissy Spacek, People from all over the United States can pick Texas out on the map. March 2, 2011. 50 Quotes about Texas that Can't Be Messed With Happy Birthday, my dearest sister. 257 points. 1. "Her favorite dress is her favorite blue jeans.". Texas is an obsession. May 5 2011 at 4 43 am the best thing to come out of oklahoma is 35 south. Best Texan Quotes. I wouldnt trust him any farther than I could throw him. Read the sites full Privacy & Disclosure policy here. Celebrate your birthday with the greatest joy for the priceless gift of life, be filled with joy that brings renewed strength. Texas is Texas. Best Birthday Quotes with Sincere Wishes for Your Loved One
Rick Charles High Diver,
Linguistic Resources, And Funds Of Knowledge,
Articles T
